In group the other day, a member said, “How do I find a friend?” She was “desperate” for friends. As she shared her history, she admitted that she gets into a friendship, is used and abused, and leaves reluctantly, disappointed. The cycle happens over and over again. (more…)
Assertiveness – What does it mean? When we’re asked to do something for or with someone, we respond. If we do it assertively, we directly express our positive and/or negative feelings in a way that communicates “I care about you and me.”.. (more…)
The Broken Record Technique comes in handy when someone is trying to convince you to do something that you don’t want to do. Here are two examples of how it can be used. The first one just repeats your answer over and over again. The second example uses the Broken Record Technique of agreeing with the parts that are true, with the odds, and/or with the right to differ. (more…)
Do I need boundaries? What are they for? I facilitate a group based on the workbook, BOUNDARY POWER by O’Neil & Newbold. In it members learn what boundaries are, what are functional and dysfunctional boundaries, and how to set and maintain their boundaries.
BOUNDARIES are limits that allow for a safe connection based on your needs. When these limits are changed, the relationship may become unclear. Such uncertainty is often experienced as a violation of your personal space. The pain from the violation may be delayed, or may not occur at all, and the violation may not be recognized or felt until harmful consequences emerge.
EXAMPLES OF UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES
1. Taking care of someone else, and not taking care of yourself.
2. Going against personal values or rights to please another (more…)
Navigating an argument
Arguments are inevitable. We are all unique individuals with unique backgrounds. We have unique ways of seeing the world and usually think that our way is correct. Unfortunately, both people involved in an argument believe that their way is the RIGHT way to see it. The truth is that there are MANY ways to see the same thing. So what do we do?
Relationships can be challenging! Remember, challenges help us to grow into the kind of person we admire. So, to help you in those challenging moments, here are some tips to help navigate an argument.
1. When your loved one is making an “unreasonable” demand, to avoid being defensive and responding in anger, think of it as a “poorly-worded request.” They are doing the best that they know how to ask for what they want. (more…)