Recently, I read Hardwired for Happiness by Rick Hanson, PhD. Since happiness is a key component to mental health, I think his tips can benefit us all.
He says when we feel included, appreciated, and cared about, we have a sense of ease, and feel cheerful and confidant. These feelings are attached to our three core needs for safety, satisfaction and connection. In order to meet those needs and attain peace, contentment, and love, we work to avoid harm, approach rewards, and attach to others.
Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to go for the negative to help us survive. Focusing on the negative becomes a habit. So what do we do?
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In group the other day, a member said, “How do I find a friend?” She was “desperate” for friends. As she shared her history, she admitted that she gets into a friendship, is used and abused, and leaves reluctantly, disappointed. The cycle happens over and over again. (more…)
Writing a sympathy card can be a very difficult task. I remember a time when I felt tongue-tied and was afraid to say the wrong thing. I worried over it so long that I didn’t send the card.
Later, when I was in an accident and out of work for a number of months, I realized the importance of cards! Each time I received a sympathy card, I felt connected to the sender. It felt so good to know that they thought of me and took time to write a note and/or purchase a card to send. I actually kept all the cards and go back to them periodically. I posted a couple of them on the bulletin board by my desk as a little reminder of the importance of connection and community, especially during times of loss. (more…)
Do I need boundaries? What are they for? I facilitate a group based on the workbook, BOUNDARY POWER by O’Neil & Newbold. In it members learn what boundaries are, what are functional and dysfunctional boundaries, and how to set and maintain their boundaries.
BOUNDARIES are limits that allow for a safe connection based on your needs. When these limits are changed, the relationship may become unclear. Such uncertainty is often experienced as a violation of your personal space. The pain from the violation may be delayed, or may not occur at all, and the violation may not be recognized or felt until harmful consequences emerge.
1. Taking care of someone else, and not taking care of yourself.
2. Going against personal values or rights to please another (more…)
Square Breathing Technique for Stress Management
Here is a technique that you can use to relieve stress from anger and anxiety. I know, it sounds so simplistic. But, does it have to be hard to work? Listen all the way to the end to find out how it works.
If you’d like more help managing your anxiety and expressing your anger appropriately, I’d love to work with you. Please give me a call at 404.518.0828. . . Dr. Sharman Colsetti
When a client came in today complaining about her job, I told her this story about a breakfast meeting I had with a friend.:
I met my friend for breakfast. She wanted to know if I could help her. In some ways, it was a typical breakfast meeting. The waitress was pleasant; the eggs were average; the restaurant was full of busy people. We shared a cup of black coffee-like substance, and the first few times my friend took a sip, she managed to spill quite a bit of it. Her trembling hand was just one of the symptoms of burnout.
Did you know that you can change your thought and change your life. Our thoughts are very powerful!
Here’s one of my favorite stories that will help you easily understand how our thoughts determine our world:
On a recent weekend in Atlantic city, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. I’ll be right back, and we’ll go to eat,” she told her husband, and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. (more…)
Is Group Therapy right for me?
Group is a safe place to allow yourself to be vulnerable and experiment with new behaviors. You can learn to work through conflicts that might otherwise be avoided. You can learn that we all struggle with personal issues at various transition periods in our life — starting or ending a relationship or job, losing a loved one, being a parent, etc. (more…)
This is one of my favorite ways to avoid the slippery slope of sadness. I write my gratitudes for the day. Instead of focusing on what’s not working, I look for what is. Our mind influences what we see and feel. To feel better, shift your mind. Even for a moment. Begin small. Say “thank you” to others and to yourself. Appreciate your body and the many things that it does for you. According to Melody Beattie, another of my favorite authors, “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Try it. You’ll like it! (more…)