On My Bookshelf

Psychotherapy is about learning. Clients come to therapy because something in their life isn’t working the way they want . In a safe environment, clients practice new ways of being before taking those new skills out into the “real world,” kind of like going to school to learn a new language before speaking it on your vacation in Italy.

Many of my clients ask for book recommendations to read during the week between sessions. Here’s a list of books from my shelves, divided in the following categories:

  1. Relationships,
  2. Self-discovery,
  3. Sexuality,
  4. Parenting,
  5. Emotion Dysregulation,
  6. Inspiration,
  7. Group Activities,
  8. Anger,
  9. Women’s Issues
  10. Addiction.

There is an active link for each book that will take you to Amazon where you can read a synopsis, reviews, and/or order the book to be sent to your home.


Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last (1997 ). John Gottman.

The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers, (2001 ). John Gottman and J. DeClaire.

What Color Is Your Parachute? 1990: A Practical Manual for Job Hunters and Career Changers. (revised yearly). R. Bolles.

You Can Heal Your Life, (1988). Louise Hay.

Talking and Listening Together: Couple Communication One, (1991). S. Miller, P. Miller, E. Nunnally, & D. Wackman.

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, (1997). D. Schnarch.

Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships, (1993). D.M. Clunis & G.D. Green.

The Good Divorce, (1994). C. Ahrons.

How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women, (2002). T. Real.

I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, (1997). T. Real.

Dinosaurs Divorce!: A Guide for Changing Families, (1986). L.K. Brown & M. Brown. (for children).

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition, (1988). H. Hendrix.

Couples Companion: Meditations & Exercises for Getting the Love You Want : A Workbook for Couples, (1994). H. Hendrix & H. Hunt.

Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide, (1992). H. Hendrix.

The Personal Companion : Meditations and Exercises for Keeping the Love you Find, (1995). H. Hendrix & H. Hunt.

The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing, (2004). P. Henry.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond, (1996). P. Evans.

In The Shadows of The Net: Breaking Free from Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior, (2001). P.Carnes, D. Delmonico & E. Griffin.

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, (1998). P. Mason & R.Kreger.

I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality, (1989). J.Kreisman & H.Straus.

The Courage to Heal 4e: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 20th Anniversary Edition, (1988). E. Bass & L.Davis.

The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, (1990). L. Davis.

Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much – Revised edition, (1990). A.W.Schaef.

Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow, (1986). J.Viorst.

Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones (Signet), (1985). C.Cowan & M.Kinder.

Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change, (1985). R. Norwood.

What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality, (2000). D. Helminiak.

Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? Revised and Updated: Positive Christian Response, A, (1994). L.Scanzon & V.Mollenkott.

Making Life Right When It Feels All Wrong, (1988). H.Fensterheim & J. Baer.

Now, Discover Your Strengths, (2001). M. Buckingham.

The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition], (1992). J. Cameron.


Making Our Lives Our Own: A Woman’s Guide to the Six Challenges of Personal Change, (1991). M. Mason.

Internal Affairs a Journalkeeping Workbook for Self-Intimacy, (1988). K. Hagan.

Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered, (1990). G. Hendricks.

Composing a Life, (1989). M.Bateson.

The Women of Brewster Place: A Novel in Seven Stories, (1982). G. Naylor.

The Wounded Woman, (1982). L.Leonard.

The Vagina Monologues, (1998). E. Ensler.

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams, (1998). D.Ford.

Care of the Soul : A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life, (1992). T.Moore.


New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90 (Wise Woman Herbal Series, Book 5) (Wise Woman Ways), (1992). S. Weed.

Extended Massive Orgasm: How You Can Give and Receive Intense Sexual Pleasure (Positively Sexual), (2000). S.Bodansky & V. Bodansky.

Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men, (2003). R.Thomashauer

Chicken Soup for the Soul, (1997). J. Canfield, M. Hansen, H. McCarty & M.McCarty. [there are many books in this series]


Treating the Tough Adolescent: A Family-Based, Step-by-Step Guide (The Guilford Family Therapy Series), (1998). S. Sells. {He later published a workbook for parents.]

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, (1997). J.Gottman & J.Declaire.

How to Help Your Teenager Postpone Sexual Involvement, (1988). M. Howard.

Predictive Parenting: What to Say When You Talk to Your Kids, (1989). S. Helmstetter.


Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), (2007). M.McKoy, J.Wood & J.Brantley.

Depressed and Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety, (2004). T. Marra.

The Birth of Pleasure, (2002). C. Gilligan.

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, (2001). A. Solomon.

The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith, (1988). J.James & F.Cherry.


Cries of The Spirit, (1991). M. Sewell (ed.).

New and Selected Poems: Volume One, (1992). M. Oliver.

Dreams and Healing: A Succinct and Lively Interpretation of Dreams, (1978). J.Sanford.

A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life, (1993). J.Kornfield.

I Love My Body, (1985). L. Hay.

You Can Heal Your Life, (1999). L. Hay.

The Invitation, (1995). O. Mountain Dreamer.

Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, (2004). E.Hicks & J. Hicks.

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, (2002). B. Katie.


Man’s Search for Meaning, (1984). V.Frankl.

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, (2005). M.Gladwell.

Sweat Your Prayers, (1997). G.Roth.

The Three Candles of Little Veronica: The Story of a Child’s Soul in This World and the Other, (1972). M.Kyber.

The Seat of the Soul, (1989). G.Zukov.

Nothing Special: Living Zen, (1993). C.J.Beck & S.Smith.

Wherever You Go, There You Are – Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life, (1994). J.Kabat-Zin.

The Existential Imagination, (1963). F.Karl & L.Hama Lian (eds.).

How Can I Help? Stories and Reflection on Service, (1994). R.Dass & P.Gorman.

The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, (1968). C.Castaneda.

Separate Reality, (1971). C.Castaneda.

Journey To Ixtlan, (1972). C.Castaneda.

The Art of Dreaming, (1993). C.Castaneda.

Course In Miracles 3rd, (1992). Foundation for Inner Peace.


Scripting: Social Communication for Adolescents, (1994). P.Mayo & P.Waldo.

The Teens’ Solutions Workbook, (1996). L.Shapiro.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (1990). Dr. Seuss.

Group Exercises for Enhancing Social Skills and Self-Esteem, (1996). S. Khalsa.

Cowstails and Cobras 2: A Guide to Games, Initiatives, Ropes Courses & Adventure Curriculum, (1989). K.Rohnke.

Islands of Healing: A Guide to Adventure Based Counseling, (1988). J.Schoel, D.Prouty & P.Radcliffe.

New Games Book, (1976). A.Fluegelman (ed.).

Silver Bullets: A Guide to Initiative Problems, Adventure Games and Trust Activities, (1984). K.Rohnke.

Creative Therapy III: 52 More Exercises for Groups, (1995). J.Dossich & E.Shea.


Letting Go of Anger: The Eleven Most Common Anger Styles & What to Do About Them, (1995). R.Potter-Efron & P.Potter-Efron.

Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, (1993). J.Lee.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, (1985). H.G.Lerner.

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don’t Know Why, (1986). S.Forward & J.Torres.

Integrated Anger Management (IAM): A Common Sense Guide to Coping with Anger, (1993). M.Fein.


Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders, (1999). M.Pipher.

Women’s Ways Of Knowing: The Development Of Self, Voice, And Mind 10th Anniversary Edition, (1997). M. Belenky, B.Clinichy, N.Goldberger & J.Tarule.

A Woman’s Book of Life: The Biology, Psychology, and Spirituality of the Feminine Life Cycle, (1995). J. Borysenko.

Smart Women Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Achieving Financial Security and Funding Your Dreams (Revised Edition), (1999). D. Bach.

The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying, (1997). S.Orman.

OURSELVES, GROWING OLDER: Women Aging with Knowledge and Power, (1994). P. Doress, W.Orters & D.Siegal.

Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era, (1998). Boston Women’s Health Book Collective.

The Obsession: Reflections on the Tyranny of Slenderness, (1980). K.Chernin.

The 12 Steps to Self-Parenting for Adult Children, (1988). P.Oliver-Diaz & P.O’Gorman.

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition, (1997). A.Miller.

The Art of Recovery, (1999). M.Delaney.

Adult Children of Alcoholics, (1983). J.Woititz.

The Intimacy Struggle: Revised and Expanded for All Adults, (1985). J.Woititz.

Choicemaking: For Spirituality Seekers, Co-Dependents and Adult Children, (1985). S.Wegscheider-Cruse.

How to Stay Sober: Recovery Without Religion, (1988). J.Christopher.

Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism — New and Revised Edition [Second Edition][The Big Book], ( ). AA World Services, Inc.